here's life

So, I get back this evening, and my apartment smells like stale tobacco smoke. I've had this problem a couple days ago, but then it was just my kitchen, so I figured maybe I had something rotting somewhere. But, this time it was pretty clear. How is it getting in? The hall wasn't that bad, so it's not coming in under the door. The windows were closed. My AC was on (which is uncharacturistic). Maybe my house doesn't need much AC because air/smoke flows from my neighbor's houses. I don't know, but it is annoying.

This evening there was a special youth group meeting at church, and they invited the "college" group I am a part of to take part in it. Basically, they were graduating the seniors, and welcoming the new 6th graders into the youth group. We were there because they were handing the seniors over to us--well, after taking out the ones leaving for college in a couple days/weeks, there were only a couple. But it was cool. And afterwards we played Ultimate in the falling darkness.

I am once again realizing that I need to make some changes in my life/environment, because I can---the world is full of options, so there is no reason to live like you are trapped in a particular subworld, where everyone is helpless, and powerlessly struggles to keep insanity at bay, and so their lives become unmanagable. Reminds me of the song:

Love must go both ways
But now the only way was me
So I must leave before I fall
Into your twisted misery.

So, even though all my complaints are subjective and qualitative rather than quantitative, there is such a thing as good vs. not-so-good, even when you can't really write out when non-perfect becomes unreasonably unsatifactory. In the past, I have figured that problems are just my imagination, or my perspective, unless I could show distinctive, definable reasons that showed it bad against an absolute, not just rating less than 7 on a scale from 3 to 15.

Maybe, I instead should try looking at it from the perspective of the one I am weighing.